January 2014: Rebirth

This is the Darkest Time of Man
Watercolor and gouache on paper
18 x 15 January 3, 2014

This piece came late last night through the encouragement of my friend and fellow artist, Iara.
It feels good to get my feelings down on paper, even the darkest ones. The text reads: "This is the darkest age of man. This is the lowest point of your life. This is the path you chose a million lifetimes ago."

The images, among several self portraits, include my grandmother, Katherine Kilgore (also an artist), a couple encircled by two others, and a person walking up a staircase that grows steeper and higher with each step. Interestingly, the patterns on my grandmother's sweater resemble the New York skyline as seen from Brooklyn. The portraits display various emotions: anger, sadness, strength. The main portrait features a third eye for clairvoyance, which comes after the plunge into the abyss (as foretold in a dream). Perhaps I am already on the other side, or perhaps the abyss still beckons from beyond.

 Self Portrait with Sunflower
Watercolor and gouache on paper
18 x 12" January 4, 2014

I did this piece when I was feeling better and having a nice hallucinogenic experience. The paintings in the background are watercolors from Texas, 2009. They look like Egyptian hieroglyphs. The sunflower is the last of the bunch of nine that I had grown this past fall.

  What Are You Afraid Of?
Watercolor and gouache on paper
18 x 12" January 4, 2014

While painting this, I was experiencing a different plane. The image is one of strength, the person confronting the viewer while the flower blooms at the throat chakra (energy center for speaking the truth). The message is to overcome one's fear in order to live an authentic life.


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